Want to Believe In Yourself More?

My friends, I've been honest with you so far, haven't I?

If you want to eliminate those crappy critical voices in your head, otherwise known as mental do-do or cognitive ka-ka, you're going to need some tools.

Here are two:

1. Affirmations.
These are positive statements that negate negative beliefs. Here's how they work. Say you are a pint-sized loser, well you don't want to go around saying: "I am a pint-sized loser." Instead, you could say: "I am the president of France, and though I am short, I have a very beautiful wife!" Affirmations are all the rage. All the motivational speakers swear by them, though I don't recommend them myself for one simple reason: In all probability, you are not the president of France.  That's why I recommend an alternative method....

2. Un-FFirmations.
These are negative statements that negate nothing.  Plus, the beauty of these is that you will have no trouble believing in them!  Here are some of my favorites:

I am stupid
I am lazy
I often feel like a fraud
I am selfish
I am greedy
I am fat, and I've hurt people that I love
I have bad breath on occasion, and when I do, people do not want to kiss me
I may have bad breath at this moment

So feel free to say these as much as you like. Just make sure that immediately afterward you say this phrase: "It don't matter!"

Doesn't that feel better?

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

Ken

Your Life Will Be Better Very Soon

Hi My Friends!

If you are interested in tickets to my Washington, DC show, here is the link: BUY TICKETS

What you'll be experiencing, at an incredible discount, is the Seven Openings, a system that will blow the wig off your head (if you're of the hairless variety). If you are fully loaded on top, this show will clear your sinuses.

It's that powerful!

Please come see me at the Goethe Institut- Mainstage this July.

A quote from Goethe:

"I can tell you, honest friend, what to believe: believe life; it teaches better than book or orator."

I'm pretty sure if Goethe knew me as an orator, he'd make an exception in my case!

Warmly,

Ken

Ken

If there's anything I know it's this: If Goethe knew me as an orator, he'd make a an exception in my case!

Do You Want to Improve Your Life, In The Flesh?

I'll be appearing live in Washington, DC this July. So if you want to experience the Seven Openings all at one time, I highly recommend you attend.  My live program is called An Hour with Ken Johnson: The Secret of the Seven Openings. 


Just look at the testimonials!
"Ken Johnson is more impressive than Tony Robbins"  -Ken Johnson

Tickets don't go on sale for a couple of weeks, but here are the dates and times to put directly into your calendar, in the meantime.  Remember: Opening #4 (Open a Window, it's Stuffy in Here) is all about taking action!

WHEN:
Saturday, July 9 @ noon
Wednesday, July 13 @ 10 pm
Saturday, July 16 @ 7:45 pm
Sunday, July 17 @ 2 pm
Wednesday, July 20 @ 8 pm


WHERE:
The Goethe Institute-Mainstage
812 7th Street, NW
Washington, DC 20001
(metro: red/green lines, Gallery Place)


WHY:
Because The Seven Openings will change your life forever--maybe.

Five Tips for Having More Love

1. Whiten your teeth and you'll have more friends. People like other people with whiter teeth.

2. Try loving yourself more than anyone else on the planet. One day, with any luck, you won't need another's company.

3. Every morning right after you brush your white teeth, kiss your own lips in the mirror and say: "I love you, Ken." (Insert your own name) Don't forget to wipe that spit now dripping down the glass.

4.  Help a neighbor with a chore-- she'll love you for it.  Just make sure it doesn't take up too much of your precious free time!
 
5.  Once your teeth are whiter, practice smiling while on the toilet.  Smiling is a good habit to cultivate during all your precious free time.

Five Tips for Being a Better Husband

1. Look better. Women like men who are attractive, my friend. If you're not attractive, try one of those hair transplants, or maybe that operation where they wire your jaw.

2.  Improve your vocabulary. Women like men who seem intelligent in public.  It's time to use your toilet time more effectively. So put down the sports pages and pick up the dictionary!

3.  Listen to your wife. As hard as it is, it'll bring you a happier home, and maybe more sex. Possibly.

4.  Become more successful. Women like successful men. If you're a failure, you should probably sign up for my Be Successful, Seven Openings course. Otherwise, she's gonna leave you. She's gonna leave you. I know it!

5.  Be the man she really wants you to be, even though you know you don't have it in you!

Five Tips for Resolving Conflicts at Work

1. Be a shameless brown noser. Lots of people will hate you, sure, but the people who count will love you!

2.  Offer some vending machine candy to your nemesis.  For her, it'll be a peace offering. For you, it'll be a discrete way to poison her body, M&M by M&M!

3.  Invite the whole office out for drinks, then apologize while you're wasted. This might be the only time you will ever feel compassion for these jerks!

4.  While in the bar, make up a little ditty about your nemesis. Then, sing it loudly in her ear. This horrible woman will avoid you thereafter, fearing hearing loss.

5.  Write nasty emails about this horrible woman, reciting every word out loud.  Everyone, including this horrible woman, will think you're crazy. Maybe they won't mess with you next time!

Enjoy Great Health!

I hope you've all enjoyed my posts on healthy living.  I'm confident that you are all healthier because of reading my blog.  If you're not, there's nothing more I can do for you.  You might even be a lost cause.

Next week, we'll be starting a great discussion about relationships -- in the office, in the home, and even inside your own soft skin.

So have a great, healthy weekend and see you on Monday!!

Ken