1. Look better. Women like men who are attractive, my friend. If you're not attractive, try one of those hair transplants, or maybe that operation where they wire your jaw.
2. Improve your vocabulary. Women like men who seem intelligent in public. It's time to use your toilet time more effectively. So put down the sports pages and pick up the dictionary!
3. Listen to your wife. As hard as it is, it'll bring you a happier home, and maybe more sex. Possibly.
4. Become more successful. Women like successful men. If you're a failure, you should probably sign up for my Be Successful, Seven Openings course. Otherwise, she's gonna leave you. She's gonna leave you. I know it!
5. Be the man she really wants you to be, even though you know you don't have it in you!
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