Want More Energy?

PROBLEM:
You're tired. Oh Lord, you are dragging yourself through the day, aren't you? Maybe you'd like to do other things with your life, but you can't. You just don't have the pep.

SOLUTION:
You need to drink more coffee, my friend.  If it's three cups a day, make it five. If it's five, you might need those legalized amphetamines--diet pills! You can still get diet pills, can't you? I can't touch them because of my rehab, but trust me, they do do the trick. Alternatively, some people advocate a clean body--detoxed-- so it runs on its own natural energy. I have not tried this myself, but I think there's some wisdom here.

TECHNIQUE:
If we look at the Seven Openings (as we should), we find ourselves at Opening Number 5: Stay Open.  Stay Open means, simply, you're gonna find adversity on your path. The thing is, don't give up!  If you want more stimulants, don't give up looking. If you want to give up stimulants--for instance, coffee, cocaine, and uppers-- then give 'em up! But don't give up the giving up, if you know what I mean.  Don't give up the giving up! The light at the end of the tunnel, you see, is pure energy. Light IS energy. You'll get there, my friend, however you decide to arrive.

Even Better Health Tips

1. Drink more liquids. This can include two beers after work!

2. Exercise prolongs your life. If you hate exercising, you're gonna die sooner. Accept this because acceptance gives a person peace. Who knows? Peace might just add some years to your foreshortened life!

3. Don't eat right before you go to bed. It's not healthy. Instead, wake up in the middle of the night and gorge yourself back to sleep!

4. You know those little devices that measure your steps? Get yourself one of those! And while you're at it, get me one too!

5. Allergies are the sign of a toxic liver.  If afflicted, cut out those two beers after work. If that's your only evening beverage choice, you'll be dehydrated now.  But you'll breathe easier!

ALL The Seven Openings

Here they all are, my friends.  I'll be explaining them all on this blog, and applying them to real life situations. But so you have them in a nutshell!

Opening Number 1: Open Your Mind
Opening Number 2: Open Your Heart
Opening Number 3: Open Your Eyes
Opening Number 4: Open a Window, It's Stuffy in Here
Opening Number 5: Stay Open
Opening Number 6: Open Your Wallet
and
Opening Number 7: Open the Ding Dong Door

All best,

Ken

How Can I Be Healthier?

Problem:
The planet, clearly, is sick. Revelations says it's about to blow.  Until that happens though, you are still kicking, aren't you?  The trouble is, you barely feel like it!  There you are dragging yourself through your day, so sluggish, sleepy and full of gas.  Is this the best you can do?

Solution:
It's time to clean up your act, so you can wake up, my friend.  A good way to do that is by eating 50% fruits and vegetables.  But what if you need some crunch while watching American Idol, waiting to see who's been voted off? You need crunch!!  Will carrots satisfy?  Of course not.  But satisfaction is no longer important.  Health is never fun, my friend. So get over yourself, and you'll feel better.

Technique:
If we turn to Opening Number Three (in the Seven Openings), Open Your Eyes, we find that opening our eyes means looking for opportunities all around us.  Carrots, especially little baby ones, are one of the best opportunities nature (and genetic engineering) has to offer.

Should I Buy a Mac Or PC?

Problem: So many people don't know what they want in life.  They get stuck: "Should I get a PC or a Mac? Do I want the one that gets infiltrated by filthy viruses? Or, should I deplete my kid's college fund so that my sweet pea will go into massive debt -- just like I had to do and most of my friends did too, and we didn't complain about it like these whiny kids of today -- just to buy the shiny new Apple?"  These are difficult choices to make.

Solution: If you're having trouble making a decision, it's because you don't really know what you want.  I refer you back to Opening Number 1 in my System The Seven Openings: Imagine. Imagine what you REALLY want in life.

Technique: Ask yourself: What is truly, deeply in my heart? What makes my heart sing? What is my divine calling in life?  Is it a Mac or a PC? Only you know the answer to this question.

Do You Want More Intimacy with Your Partner?

PROBLEM:  I gotta tell you, most couples I know are NOT gettin' it on like they should be. You can tell when you see one of them publicly calling attention to the other's lack of intelligence. We knew he was stupid; did you have to call him out like that?  This ugliness comes from lack of conjugal connection between romantic partners.

SOLUTION: If you and your gal, or guy, or some other variation (I don't judge), aren't "doing it" like attractive monkeys, then it's time for you to invent a secret language between you.  As an example, my wife Pat and I speak fake German to each other, and we have a beautiful intimacy.

TECHNIQUE: Take a regular ol' language, keep the sounds, but substitute your own nonsense words. Speak this language to each other in a baby voice, but also like you're the big, bad wolf. You'll be amazed how your love life will improve!

How Am I Doing?

So how do you like my new blog so far?

If you're not convinced that The Seven Openings will change your life forever, well, there's nothing I can do for you.  You might as well just abandon me right now (you wouldn't be the first).

But if you ARE convinced I can help you, just stick with me as I work out all my Betas and bugs.  It'll be worth it. I guarantee it.

(Of course, I can't really guarantee it; then I might have a lawsuit on my hands.)

Lets put it this way:  I can certainly give you my blogger's word that I will try my best to help you.  So keep visiting! And drop me a line sometime.  It won't kill you.

I Can't Wait

I just can't wait to share my wisdom with you.  So here is a sample of the kind of life help you will be getting through The Seven Openings.

Opening Number One is OPEN YOUR MIND.

By which I mean, imagine.

Imagine what you really want in life.

Most people don't know what they want in life so they are jealous.  Admit it: you're jealous.

Who are you jealous of?  You can tell me.

I mean, who would you like to see fall down a flight of sharp stairs, breaking every bone in their uppity, arrogant, ad-van-ta-geous body -- all because YOU want the life they have?

Who are you jealous of today?

Write it below.

Welcome to My Blog

Hi, I'm Ken Johnson. I'm happy to have you visit me here. I'll be blogging about a System I invented to Improve Your Life Forever. It's called The Seven Openings.  Each opening brings you closer and closer to a magical doorway, and once you open that door, you will have exactly the life you want, in this lifetime.  I hope you are getting what I'm saying here: You can have EXACTLY the life you want.  If you follow my blog, I will show you how.